Okay, posting has been ridiculous for us, so I'm making a new goal to post at least once a month. We'll see. We don't have internet at our house because we live in Missouri. J/k. We don't have internet at our house because we live in rural Missouri (which is a very hard word to say and still sound educated), and we're too poor to pay $70+ a month for butt-licking dial up speed. So, in order to accomplish my goal, I will have to come to G&G Sorhus' house once a month or head to Kirksville (or, as we country folk refer to it, "town") with our lap-top where they have a fancy-dancy McDonald's with wi-fi access. Hold me to it.
Alright, now for the big news half.
1. Jaren has been accepted to Truman State University where he can finish his undergrad and hopefully get good grades and experience for Medical school.
2. Lochlan is a super cute kid
3. I think I figured out how to teach Lochlan to stop hitting. Here's my strategy. I have a theory about parenting and natural consequences. Mainly, parent with natural consequences, not "parent" consequences (i.e. grounding, curfews, etc.) Because if parents are the consequence, then as soon as parents are gone (kid moves out or turns 18) there are no consequences. That's one reason young adults make so many mistakes, I think. So, if you parent with natural consequences, kids understand that choices always come with a consequence. So, with this in mind, I was trying to figure out what we could do to stop Lochlan from hitting. We had tried finger-flicking, and it just really wasn't working. But getting your fingers flicked when you hit someone in the face isn't really a natural follow-up. Then I thought, why isn't ok to hit someone? Well, because it hurts them right? Bingo! So what do we do now when he hits? Milk it. We sob and screw up our faces, and really let him know that it hurts. Then he feels bad and rubs your face softly, and snuggles you, and one time, he felt so bad he started to cry. Anyway, it seems to be working.
4. I'm pregnant. This one seems to be going a bit better than the last, or at least not escalating as quickly. We are due May 20. I think it's gonna be a girl. We'll see!
I was changing the baby's diaper when I exclaimed, "Baby, you have stinky, stinky poops!" Lochlan chimed in, "Baby, you have two stinkies poops."
While preparing to blow his nose, Lochlan stated matter-of-factly, "I need to blow my burgers. It's gonna get loud in here for a while."
After enjoying some delicious Bear Creek dehydrated potato soup, we faced the long trip home to Provo from St. George. Unfortunately, Jaren and I both got the "toots" (a situation we should have expected), and mine were especially putrid. One of us remarked that it smelled like death. After thinking for a moment, I announced, "No. It smells worse than that. It smells like death farted!"
"Here I sit all broken hearted. I tried to poop, but only farted. Then one day I took a chance. I tried to fart and crapped my pants." - Jaren's dad
"If we had cake, we could have cake and ice cream, if we had ice cream." -Grandpa Hafen
"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy." - Jack Handy
"The whiter the bread, the sooner you're dead." - Dad
"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy." - Jack Handy
When I made a comment about someone farting in a car, Jaren's dad remarked, " It is better for all to suffer a little than for one to suffer a lot."
“Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.” - Demetri Martin
“I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like "Huh?", but if it's in a basket you're like " This is nice!" - Demetri Martin
“I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.” - Demetri Martin
“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.” - Jack Handy
“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.” - Jack handy
“The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?” - Jack Handy
“When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults.” - Demetri Martin
“Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.” - Jack Handy